Teachers' Pet!

 One vague afternoon in my LKG, my teacher called me and canned me as fuck. I remember what I did to get the shit beaten out of me. I was resting my right arm on the desk behind me that may have questioned the authority of Meera miss who was otherwise a 'nice lady'. She seldom threw judgy looks at my mom who was briefly going through a separation and poverty, the looks worked and my mom enrolled me for tuitions with her- the 'tuition' used to happen within my school hours and within the classroom. I don't remember she did shit about my tuition. One evening, I went home and told my mom that Meera and Ambuja were bitching about her and it happened right in front of me. My poor mother came and told about her separation to that unremorseful piece of shit. These teachers knew whom to fuck around with and they treaded carefully with well dressed English speaking parents. 

Also, I very  much remember Kamala Kasturi miss and Rukmini miss  filling me in on how they hated me for the way I looked- I couldn't tell them then - Do your duty miss. The painstaking efforts to punish me resulted in me crying everyday morning to go to school, this traumatized my helpless mother. KK liked public insults, once my mother came to clear the air. KK told my mother - 'Ponnu maadri azhuvuran' and she cleverly said 'if you don't want me to encourage him to study then, I won't do it' my mother politely asked her to not encourage me too much, KK liked to insultingly talk about students other parents.I refused to take most of these things home because  there was already enough shit deal with. 

I enjoyed my 7th standard, Premalatha miss went on a mission to transform me. She'd compare my handwriting to a fellow teacher who was her friend and say - ' Konjam focus panna Getsy miss maadri azhaga ezhudhuva'. Science was her forte, every science class qas taken seriously. There was enough love give in 7th C. This class had Gayatri miss for Kannada, Manjunath used to make her run around the class when the whole class split the sides laughing. I got interested in studying in 7th C but good things end quickly. I was promptly promoted to high school. 

Uma miss was that teacher who spoke English with elegance but  was not a good person overall. The awkward silence every time after the phrase 'look at your face'  was an embarrassment with a capital E. The teachers clearly knew that some of us came from the nearby slum, the rest they decided. Well dressed fair/ good looking people were always favoured. 

Even now I hear stories of  gangly looking boys being treated differently for no reason at all. I remember once during my survival as an IELTS trainer, I struck a bond with Gideon - a staff nurse who told me, ''Nammala ellam paathaka ellarukkum poruki maadri theriyum enna pandradhu' and smile ear to ear with a giggle. He rold this when we were talking about how difficult it is to approach people for help in 'educational' sector with a 'not-so-very-good-look'. There were many like me who didn't want to go back to school. Romanticizing school is the most fucked up thing for me, my sister would disagree. 

 Imagine for me to go to school every morning only for the teachers to spew venom at me and a PT sir to insult me and beat me in the classroom for not having a haircut. Getting roasted by every Tom, Dick and Harry for my feminine gait and intonation. I fucking don't want to go to school ever again. 

Today the world is a better place like Kamala Das writes. But my gangly looks remain. One thing I have to say to the people who do not want to besmirch their caste, class and  elitism with my association -  FUCK OFF.